Drunk dating fails: the texts to exes, the relationship confessions, and how to stop sabotaging your love life while intoxicated.
Core Topics: Ex texting, premature confessions, oversharing, relationship sabotage, recovery tactics
Relationship & Dating Disasters: When Drunk You Tried to "Fix" Your Love Life
The 3 a.m. "I still love you" novel sent to someone who ghosted you in 2021.
The drunk "we should get back together" voicemail that included sound effects of vomiting.
The overshare that made your situationship block you on three platforms.
Laugh at the wreckage. Submit your own romantic war crimes below—we'll anonymize anything too nuclear.
Hall of Fame: Love Stories That Ended in Block Buttons
#1 – The Drunk Marriage Proposal Reboot
"Baby I know we broke up but I just bought a ring and I'm outside your window right now. Open up. I love you forever." Sent to an ex who had moved three provinces away. She replied with a photo of her new fiancé. He still has the ring in his sock drawer.
—Now proposes to pizza delivery drivers instead
#2 – The Overshare Voice Note Chain
Seven back-to-back voice notes to a situationship: "You're the only one who gets my trauma," "I cry when I think about you," "My therapist says you're avoidant," ending with "Wait wrong chat." They blocked him mid-sentence.
—Now talks to his plants about his feelings
#3 – The Premature "I Love You" Barrage
Texted someone on date #2 at 2:47 a.m.: "I love you" ×14, followed by "Sorry autocorrect" ×9. They replied once: "We met on Tuesday." Ghosted forever. He still checks their Spotify to see if they're sad.
—Now says "I love you" to his DoorDash driver
#4 – The Ex Rant That Became a Meme
Instagram story carousel: 18 slides of screenshots, crying selfies, and "He's a walking red flag but I still want him." Tagged him. His friends made it a group chat reaction pack. Relationship status: single and viral.
—Now his ex uses the crying selfie as his contact photo
Classic Drunk Dating Sabotage Moves
"You up? Miss your face… and other parts" to someone who has a new partner
"I think I'm falling in love with you" after two dates and six shots
Voice note: "My childhood was rough and you're triggering me but I still want you"
"You're just like my ex and I hate that but I love you" sent at 4 a.m.
Damage Control Scripts (Send Before They Block You Forever)
To Your Ex (After the 3 a.m. "Come Over"):
"Hey… those messages last night were drunk me being an idiot. Sorry for the late-night ambush. Deleted everything. Hope you're good."
To Your Situationship (After the Overshare Dump):
"Ugh, ignore that voice note. Drunk me decided to trauma-dump at 3 a.m. Sorry. Sober me is embarrassed and going to bed earlier from now on."
To the Person You Just Confessed Love To:
"So… that 'I love you' text was drunk brain talking. We barely know each other. Sorry for the intensity. Let's pretend it was autocorrect."
Prevention Tips (Drunk You Will Still Ignore These)
- Delete your ex's number before the first shot (or rename it "DO NOT TEXT – EVER")
- Phone in airplane mode after midnight (or throw it in the fridge)
- Appoint a sober wingman/woman to confiscate your phone when you start crying
- No dating apps open after 11 p.m. (or just uninstall them on weekends)
- Just… don't drink and swipe/date/text/exist romantically (impossible, we know)
What's YOUR most disastrous drunk dating moment?
Confess anonymously below or email shame@drunkshame.com
The most soul-crushing ones get immortalized in the Hall of Fame.