The worst drunk texts: how to apologize for them, scripts to send, and how to avoid midnight regret. Funny stories included.
Core Topics: Classic love confessions, typo disasters, accidental group texts, emoji overload, apology scripts, prevention tips, reader submissions
The Worst Drunk Texts Ever Sent (And How to Survive the Shame Spiral)
That one 3:14 a.m. message that still makes you want to yeet your phone into the void.
We've all sent texts that belong in a museum of bad decisions.
Laugh, cringe, submit yours below—no therapy, just shared humiliation.
Hall of Shame: The Categories That Still Hurt
"I never stopped loving you" to the person who blocked you in 2018
"I want to duck you so bad" (autocorrect strikes again)
"She's so hot I'd risk HR" sent to the entire company Slack
🍆💦😭🍑🔥🤤×42 to your aunt by mistake
19 follow-up messages explaining why it actually wasn't wrong
Hall of Fame: Legendary Drunk Text Disasters
#1 – The Proposal That Wasn't
"Will you marry me? I love you forever" sent to the pizza delivery guy at 3:42 a.m. He replied "Extra cheese is $2.50 extra." I tipped $20 out of sheer panic.
—Now orders under a fake name
#2 – The Family Emergency
"Mom I think I'm dying send help" sent to the entire family group chat after one too many tequila shots. Mom called 911. Paramedics showed up while I was vomiting in the Uber.
—Still gets "How's the dying going?" texts every holiday
#3 – The Accidental HR Nightmare
"Boss you're hot when you're mad" sent to my manager during a late-night work rant. Followed by "Wait wrong chat" and then "No really tho 👀". Promoted to "permanent remote."
—Now works from a different province
#4 – The Wrong Number Romance
"Hey babe miss u tonight" sent to a random number that turned out to be my dad's new coworker. He replied "Wrong number, but thanks?" I blocked my own dad for a week out of shame.
—Family dinners are still awkward
#5 – The Eternal Loop
Sent "I'm so sorry" 47 times to an ex in a row because autocorrect kept changing "delete" to "sorry". She replied once: "You good?" I never replied again.
—Now has her blocked on 3 platforms
Apology Scripts – Copy, Paste, Pray
Prevention Tips (That We Still Ignore)
What's YOUR worst drunk text crime?
Confess anonymously below or email shame@drunkshame.com
Funniest ones get featured (and eternal internet immortality).